Is trump Finally Gone? Why We’re Secretly Cheering!

His Disappearance Sparks Joy—Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Feel Bad

Donald trump is dying.

Probably. Definitely.

The accuracy of that statement depends on whether you're fact-checking it against a stopwatch or a calendar.

Of course, as no-longer-running-for-reelection Sen. Joni Ernst pointed out to constituents worried about dying due to devastating cuts that trump's ballyhooed "Big Beautiful Bill" would enact, "We all are going to die."

FACT CHECK: TRUE. And if you're saying that to a roomful of people who are terrified that the thing you just voted for is going to screw them royally, you deserve to see your political career come to an end.

But in light of trump's mysterious disappearing act over the past 4-5 days, and bizarre silence from someone you can't bribe to shut up, he seems to be much closer to that final stretch of life than most: his dementia appears to have accelerated, based on his increasingly batshit statements; he's started expressing a desire to get into heaven (fat chance, asshole); and his VP Vance said he's ready to take over less than a week ago.

But in the initial hours of his disappearance heading into the weekend on Friday night, the search terms "Is trump Dead" and "trump Died" triggered a palpable sense of excitement on social media, not unlike hearing that someone had the winning ticket for Powerball, but they hadn't figured out who yet.

The memes were buzzing. There was a "ding dong, the witch is dead" premature celebration brewing, and the sober buzzkill voices would caution people not to revel in the possible demise of the President of the United States. They were attempting to make people feel guilty for this not-waiting-to-exhale moment.

And I'm here to tell you: DON'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.

Look, I watch a ton of movies, and when the real shitty, asshole bad guys die in the movies, nobody mourns; they cheer their asses off.

Of course, I had to be cautious myself on social media about how I discussed it, because it is a full-time job for a legion of trolls to try to provoke or trigger me into saying something that will get my account suspended. The last time I was suspended was in 2016, when I told some asshole to eat a bag of dicks, and he reported me. Lesson learned... so my comments were more probing and curious.

"What happened? What's going on? Why's everybody so happy, lol?" And I believe in karma, so I kept my posts subdued and carefully calibrated not to sound celebratory.

But to suggest that others should feel GUILTY for feeling joyful if he had met his end? Let's dig into that, OK?

For starters, trump is possibly the most objectively nasty and negative person many of us have ever known in the entirety of our lives. He revels in the misfortune of others—it is his brand, and part of the reason so many trumpers have voted for him.

Sure, they'll tell you it's because the six-time bankrupted fraud is "good at business," but he's proven time and again that was all smoke and mirrors, nothing but hype. Or maybe it was because "he tells it like it is," but that isn't true, is it? In fact, whenever he says something that veers well into the "Did he actually fucking say THAT" category, his apologists rush to say "He was only joking," or "What he actually meant to say was..."

And if it's not one of those reasons, they'll say "It's because of his policies, that's why I support him." But when you press many of them to name ONE policy goal he has successfully achieved, all you can hear is the hemming and hawing, and "I can't think of one right now." OK, sure.

So really, what is his defining attribute? His cruelty.

On a much smaller scale, his followers are conditioned to react to anyone complaining about the cruelty of his policy of, say, cutting Medicaid, with "Cry harder" or some nonsense about "drinking Liberal tears."

But the sadism meter is turned all the way up to 11 when a 5-year-old cancer patient is deported, and their response is "That's what I voted for." WHAT? You voted for children to be deported to a country where they will no longer receive treatments for their cancer? Or hard-working, tax-paying immigrants picked up while landscaping, or washing cars, picking fruit, or attending immigration court.

"Yeah. They shouldn't have been here illegally," is their typical response, as if seeking asylum had somehow silently been declared illegal while we all slept. If you oppose them being grabbed and thrown into unmarked vehicles by masked thugs without a hint of due process, they accuse you of supporting crime and other illegal acts.

But the weird thing to recognize is, of all the detentions trump's ICE has done this year, 70% of them have no criminal record, despite his promises to go after "the worst of the worst." The best he can do is point to a Photoshopped picture of a guy's hand and accuse him of being MS-13 without providing proof in court. But sure, law and order.

Donald trump JOKED when Paul Pelosi was attacked with a hammer.

When Sen. John McCain died, he said, "We're not going to support that loser’s funeral."

When Michigan Rep. John Dingell passed in 2019, he said of the long-serving Democratic Congressman on leaked audio, "Maybe he’s looking up."

And as far as being sensitive about the relative health of a sitting President is concerned, trump has never led by example. He has frequently bashed Biden's health and mental acuity, despite the fact that he himself has never been seen breaking into a jog or riding a bike. He delights in retweeting posts that show Biden getting struck by a golf ball, or even one showing the former President tied up on the back of a pickup truck.

His supporters do not see anything wrong with trump's delighting in the physical misfortunes of others; they feel entitled to it, and even love when he makes an indirect or direct threat against the life of an opponent, like when he suggested Liz Cheney "should see how it feels to have guns trained on her face."

But these self-same savage supporters will clutch every pearl available to muster as much faux-rage as possible when the person who has made it clear that he considers any American who doesn't blindly support him "the enemy within."

He's embarked on a campaign of deploying the military against Blue states only.

He has even threatened an attempt to deny citizens who have not voted for him the right to vote. "Those who vote against me in these radical left cities might not deserve to vote next time—we’ll see about their citizenship."

His economic policies this year, mainly tariffs, have been wildly unpopular because, despite almost every economist warning that they will increase expenses for families by $4,800 per year, he is stubbornly pursuing this policy that already has inflation trending in the wrong direction—while he uses the influence of his office to line his own pockets through crypto and grift.

I didn't feel guilty for cheering when Emperor Palpatine plummeted to his death in Return of the Jedi.

I cheered my ass off when I saw that stunned look on Hans Gruber's face when he fell from the top of Nakatomi Plaza in Die Hard.

And I let out a sigh of relief when that terrifying great white shark finally exploded at the end of Jaws.

When the prospect of a villain meeting his or her timely (or untimely) demise presents itself, it is only normal for the people who are being oppressed or terrorized by that person or monster to experience some relief, even jubilation.

And like it or not, trump's petty, sadistic cruelty, compulsive lying, selfishness, and dictatorial behavior have only helped to cast him as the villain, overwhelmingly reviled here in the United States and abroad.

Strangely enough, we still don't know 100% that he is actually fine.

He probably is, because for some people the absolute worst people seem to hang around for an impossibly long time. People have posted strange photos that may or may not be him or a body double; he and his administration lie shamelessly all the time, so there's no reason anyone should believe anything they say.

So I'm not suggesting that you should buy a cake and balloons and throw a wild, raging party should there be breaking news that the 47th President has breathed his last breath. But I'm also not saying you should feel guilty about it if you do.

Just keep that volume down while you jam to "YMCA" and do that goofy "jerking two dudes" dance in celebratory tribute.

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Do you disagree? Do you believe that, no matter how divisive and evil the sitting President has comported himself, the office should always be treated with respect? Or do you believe respect must be earned, and will feel a sense of relief if the nightmare ends before 2028? Share your feelings below.