No More New Year's Resolution FAILS

My strategy for ensuring a much higher resolution success rate

"Should Auld bad habits be forgot..."

One of the most popular New Year's activities that people like to engage in, besides drunken revelry, and watching a ball drop at midnight while a buzzed Anderson Cooper giggles on TV, is making New Year's resolutions.

New Year's resolutions are like officially turning the page on the previous year's worst habits by establishing good ones. We are all creatures of habit, so naturally the chance to hit the reset button and begin anew is a hopeful, if not doomed, exercise. Actually, exercise is one of the top resolutions.

I myself have bought gym memberships at least two times, and probably three times, and started off great, going twice a week for about a month, but it was really difficult for me to maintain that schedule discipline.

According to U.S News and World Report, a whopping 80 percent of New Year's resolutions are abandoned by February, with people often losing their resolve and motivation to continue pursuing their stated goals.

We've all been there before -- you start off really well, motivated and positive, moving forward with our stated goal, and then for whatever reason (and there are plenty of valid ones), we are unable to continue. It's demoralizing and depressing, NOT the way to start off the new year.

So, I'm going to share with you some of MY successful strategies for being more resolute on your resolutions, and following through.

Before I do, though, you should know what makes ME qualified to give my two cents on the subject. ONE: I am a recovering addict, one who got sober 21 years ago, and stayed there. It was less of a new year's resolution, and more of a life-saving one, but some of the mental toughness is there.

TWO: I quit smoking cigarettes three and a half years ago, which for some reason is more difficult than quitting drugs was. But again, on this one, I had to make deliberate, conscious choices that helped me stick with it. And this presents a perfect segue for introducing my overarching theme for acing resolutions.

SELF CARE.

If that sounds simple, that's because it is simple, but it ain't easy. We have to practice having an internal monologue that prioritizes our own mental and physical health above everything else. If you're on a plane with a young child, and those oxygen cups drop, you're told to apply YOURS first, because you can't help anyone unless you help yourself first.

Be encouraging to yourself. Silence those negative thoughts that tell you that you can't do it, forget about all of those times you didn't get it done. Be the coach who tells the 10 year old inside of you "It's OK. I still believe in you. Pick yourself up and let's try again. Nothing beats a failure but a try."

At the same time, that means training yourself to NOT be your own worst critic. There are enough people in this world who, for whatever reason, will look to take us down a peg or two because they are jealous. Allow yourself to be happy for yourself.

RESIST the urge to tell every damn person what you're doing. Why do you need an audience? Whose business is it but YOURS? You start and finish when it is convenient for you, nobody else. That way, if you do stumble, nobody knows except you, and you get right back up on the horse and try again.

Set attainable, baby step goals. Make your benchmarks tiny, easily-achievable goals. If you want to blow past them, BRAVO. The point is to allow yourself to build up enough momentum to feel good about the little benchmarks you have achieved, to help propel you forward.

Let's take physical exercise, for instance. If you know ultimately, you'd like to do 10,000 steps per day, make your goal only 1,000 steps. If that's way too easy, adjust as needed. Don't force yourself to walk 10 miles in a day, right off the bat, when you should be gradually building up to it.

Focus on achieving a work/Life balance. When you leave work, LEAVE work. If you work at home, make sure you have a designated area for work, and step all the way away from it when you're done. There should be a clear delineation between your work life and home life -- the boss ain't paying you to sacrifice your free time for their benefit, so you might as well reclaim that time.

This makes such a big difference, the satisfaction you'll get from unchaining yourself from work will give you energy and motivation to do other things you've been meaning to do. And take 10 minute breaks whenever you can. OK, back to the resolutions.

Set a specific date to START. This was KEY for me in quitting smoking. I chose my sober date, August 17th, because it was a really important day for me. You can make it your birthday, your spouse's or child's birthday, whatever -- be deliberate. It will allow you some mental "runway" to mentally commit yourself, to take your goal seriously, and do it when YOU are ready.

Be obsessed with this. If YOU don't get excited about it, who will? Read plenty of articles, put magazine clippings up in your personal space, bookmark web pages, listen to podcasts, read books. SUBMERGE YOURSELF in details around your goal. 90 percent of your success will be 100 percent mental (or something like that).

Anticipate obstacles, potholes, and triggers. When I quit smoking, I had to be FULLY honest with myself about what my triggers were, and made myself a roadmap for navigating myself clear of them. Coffee was a trigger; I replaced the coffee with green tea for the first two months. I bought "chew sticks" to deal with the oral fixation. I also stated out loud when I felt like a wanted a cigarette (for some reason, keeping those thoughts & urges secret gives them more power).

Take it One Day At A Time. The journey of 1,000 miles always begins with the first step. Acknowledge that you will not attain your goal overnight, unless it's something that can literally only take that amount of time. Anything that is worthwhile will take some time and effort, but be PATIENT with yourself. You might not see progress after one day, one week, or even one month. But just keep at it ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Celebrate incremental progress. If your goal is weight loss, and you've gone from 120 lbs to 119.5 lbs, celebrate that, because it's progress. If it's not enough, reevaluate your plan, and make tweaks to it. But DO pat yourself on the back.

Be patient with yourself. I like to think each of us still has a child inside. And, if you were speaking to a child and wanted to encourage them to do better, you'd speak to them positively, nurture and love them.

And that's the key to self care: love yourself. Because no matter what your personal goals are, to lose weight, to gain weight, pack on muscle, whatever, nothing is more important than tending to and taking care of that precious child inside yourself.

That's a good habit to get acquainted with.